I can buy a ticket to ME…
And enjoy the journey, however long it takes… and I can take the punches along the way by building something brighter to aspire to… the best bit is I don’t know what that is.
I arrived here by way of a journey no one would ever choose. But travel that journey I did… and it is a litany of absolute foolishness and disaster.
I was tricked. I allowed the Alcohol Monster to move in… and here’s the thing. I can’t make him move out… he has a permanent residence somewhere in my mind (though I picture him living in my tummy!). Thing is, I now fully understand… we can live happily together… I just have to be on my guard… and not feed his desire for me to consume. One drop will awaken him, he lurks in my sub-conscious, ready to devour me.
One drop will give him the key he needs to push me down the spiral staircase.
But I’ve got him… because I know that’s what he wants… and I choose, very happily to deny him that pleasure.
My naked mind knows this… and, from a position of utter strength I can move forward in no doubt.
No more questions as to why? how? Just answers… alcohol is a poison. It poisons the body and poisons the mind.
From the very first drink I took, many many years ago, I was descending to the LOW NOW.
But the real HIGH NOW is good. It is strength. It is open-mindedness. It is desire, and it is awesome.
Sorry Mr. Monster… I thought I had “fixed” myself by being detoxed… but that just shut you up for a bit… and the questions still remained.
I no longer have to ask these questions… these questions you put in mind to slow me down, to confuse and unhinge me.
I no longer have to feed you… to be frank, you can fuck right off!
No more indecision, no more being held captive.